Solynya

“Allyson! Shake what you got in them jeggingssss!!!!” -Kai

Every time I recall my cousin saying this, I smile, or am overcome by laughter. This is how I remember it: Allyson and I were leaving a party my cousin was having. Everyone was twerking and laughing and having fun. They followed us out yelling and dancing around the car before we got in. They didn’t want us to leave.

When they finally let us go, my cousin Kai yelled out to us “Ally-son! Shake what you got in them jeggingsss!!!” It was so animated and accompanied by a little dancing prompt. Instead of dancing back, Allyson yelled out “These are NOT jeggings!” Which of course made me cripple over in laughter because of how straight faced she was. She wouldn’t let me call them jeggings either.

Even though Allyson didn’t want her pants to be jeggings, they probably would have been helpful to me in high school when stretch jeans weren’t a thing, before the textiles industry began to incorporate a little spandex into most garments, and almost none of my pants fit properly. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a thing yet.

https://youtu.be/mPICTG6Ppbg

This post is dedicated to my cousin Kai. Hilarious and full of life and love.

Kai 11.7.91 – 3.10.17

Life as a little kid, with a big butt….

It is a widely accepted and even desired aesthetic to have a big butt these days. Maybe it was in the 90’s as well, but, as a little kid it wasn’t all fun. Questions that you don’t know how to answer from strangers or other kids like “hey, why does your butt sit up on your back like that?!!” “Huh? I don’t know…I’m a kid?…..” Or “Hey, when you look straight up, and hold your head all the way back, does it rest on your booty?” These are real questions that I was asked.

Instead of going on, I’ll just share this video with you. Today is a two for one. Part II is in the next blog post. Check it out.

https://youtu.be/5krj9I8-TkE?list=PLq_BjA0q55Mffmw3h2hNOKEQGngkkscLo

https://youtu.be/l2MgSc8fRUg

There is beauty in your interests and desires.

Explore them unapologetically.

It is acceptable to be yourself, no matter how weird, odd, or different.

Your wholeness is appropriate.

Your wholeness is beautiful.

Your wholeness is needed.

And if you wanna play with Barbies…. Play with Barbies, no matter your age.

A throw back story.

I had a close friend and neighbor as a kid. I’ll call him J for this blog. J and I spent so much time together as kids throughout the years. As teenagers I even made him come over to see me off on a date and be there when I got back because my parents were away. (They trusted me an awful lot! Leaving me in town without them sometimes for a full week at a time. And I was truly always good.)

We ate our meals together, I believe I saw ever Looney Tunes and Power Ranger episode because of him. And of course Dragon Ball Z. He was obsessed! We would spread all of the Power Ranger toys and barbies across the kitchen floor and play for hours, become hypnotized by video games or spend the entire summer day outside. And of course, we fought. Not just verbally but physically. I am a few years older so I would win most of the time. Sometimes I was a bit bossy, because I of course, was the Boss.

One day we were playing in my front yard. Sitting in the rich green grass talking and building things. An adult called for us and we jumped up to run in the house.

We each wanted to be first. He fell down and I screamed about how I was gonna beat him. He reached up and grabbed my leg stopping my run and slamming my little body forcefully to the ground face first. That beautiful green grass….I had a mouth full of it. I was in shock. When I gathered myself and spit all the grass out, I tackled him full force throwing him to the ground. I said “You made me eat grass!” He was pleaseed and laughed. I was so mad, I told him “you made me eat grass J! Now YOU’RE gonna eat grass!” I grabbed a hand full of these vibrant colored blades….and pushed it in his mouth…..

If he’s reading this, I’m really sorry I did that. Smh he stopped laughing. But he loved me so much that he just let it go. He actually felt bad. We got off of the ground and he said he was sorry. We went in the house together calmly with dirt and grass stains, but he never told.

If you are reading this, I pray that you are granted peace in the midst of every storm that you encounter and a depth of consciousness that allows you to be present in the moment.

I pray that you are, connected, balanced, and Confident.

That you are loved, and that you love.

And that you know, I Love you. 💛

So, this conversation happened.

“Sonya how was your Valentines Day? Did you enjoy it?”

Me: yes it was good

As I walk away I hear

“You spent it alone?” *A bit of shade included*

I turned around and said

“no.”

And as I continue to walk off I heard

“did he eat the booty like groceries?”
……..

Now, while I know it was inappropriate, I was NOT offended. However I don’t understand why eating the booty like groceries has become the in thing. Don’t get me wrong I’m not judging anyone. What you do in the comfort of your bedroom is your own business. To each his own.

Butt But, Analingus, is not my idea of fun. I remember in elementary and middle school, the common, insult or retort was “you eat bOOty!” or “you toss salads!”

Now it’s like the cool thing to rap about. For example, today alone I heard these lyrics on the radio.

“Try to beat me there, let me be clear Is you eatin’ ass too? Nigga, pinky swear”

“He said, “Would I let him eat this ice cream, out my ass crack?””

I do wonder however if it’s actually really common or if it’s just in rap songs. And more so, why is it so cool to rap about? Have you noticed how much it’s being discussed?

This poem, by William Ernest Henley, is inspiring. It brings forth and influences peace for me. I hope the same for you.

“Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

“Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.”

It’s funny how people change when they are on the phone versus when you’re there in person. When the anonymity disappears. When you respond to their snarky slick comment with a easy toned “okay, thanks” and then pop up on them with an expression like “Hi! You said what now? Now what was that you said?” But you keep your tone professional, welcoming.

Be Kind Or Be Quiet… Sometimes

Xoticy kicked my butt! In the best way possible. Exhausted. Which is why this will be one of thee shortest blog posts I will have. Spending the day with my sweet niece and celebrating ourselves and my journey to 30 as we danced through two classes was the best.

Check Monica Wilson out. She is amazing. And if you think it looks easy, I assure you, your body will not agree. Try it.

https://youtu.be/W1m2y5fNHsM

When I was a child, living in Memphis, I played outside a lot. From the ages of 7 to maybe 13 I was riding bikes and walking barefooted in the dirt and grass.

Spending summers in cut offs, making toys from rope and sticks, throwing rocks, drinking water from green garden hoses, constructing stick homes in the crevices formed by the roots of the giant oak trees, catching lightening bugs, collecting earthworms after rain storms, playing in the rain letting my cotton candy thick wavy puffy hair swell to its full expansion, being one with the outdoors, being a southern kid. Countless mosquito bites, scrapes, cuts, bruises and one pair of brand new Levis torn in the crotch from jumping a fence…my Mother decided she’d had enough. “This has to stop!” She told me. “You can’t keep tearing up clothes and coming home cut up. You’ll be a young lady soon. You don’t want to be covered in scars. No more skateboard, no more rollerblading.” I didn’t feel all that upset. Or at all really. I just accepted it. I felt really bad for destroying those Levis and Skateboarding was hard anyways. Plus, I didn’t like all the bruises either.

She signed me up for softball and basketball instead…. I didn’t feel bad enough about destroying all those new clothes to pretend I liked these sports. And I NEVER went to basketball practice. Ever.