The Distance Between Us… too?

With his brown skin and characteristics undoubtedly descended from the African Diaspora, he stands before me and tells me that “I don’t date black women”

their attitudes are too bad
and their hair is nappy and kinky

not pretty and silky
they have kinks not curls

He continues on, and on, and on….

*In my thoughts*
Sonya, don’t speak. Don’t, as not to create more distance between us as a whole. But really the distance in support is there already. The dialogue creates discomfort and exposes a dissonance. It is not creating a distance. But the conversation is needed to change this.

His words seep between my placid placed expressions, waving away my inner dialogue, and I hear him say

“But not you Sonya. You’re different. You aren’t really like BLACK girls. You’re pretty and you’re smart. And you look mixed! You have nice pretty hair. You’re well spoken and I like your color, even if you aren’t light skinned.”

“Do you date white dudes? I could see you with a white dude. Yall would probably get along. Is your Mom white?….”

My stream of thoughts are triggered in, and I can no longer hear him. Voices of words once spoken return to me. Visitation. “You need to stop trying to find a black man.” “They don’t do right.” “Statistically there aren’t enough for ALL of you to have one. Somebody gotta get something else” “Step out of the box. Choose another color” “Why are you only dating black men!? Ugh. That’s why you’re single” “You’re close minded. Everybody can’t have chocolate babies”

But…. Outsides aside, I need a different kind of support. The world is tough enough. I am not in the business of recruiting naysayers. I need someone with faith SO strong, He can believe in me and my dreams. So strong, he can see me in the places that I will one day be. So strong that his masculinity is not defined by society, weak & stuffed with bravado….

Goddess, he calls me. I Love, your spirit. I love your complexion. You’re beautiful. You’re intelligent. I believe you will accomplish you dreams. I will continue to support you in your pursuits. I will keep encouraging u, til the sky falls.

He speaks Life into me.

He speaks positivity into my life.

The Distance Between Us… too far to exist as one in harmony? No.