Instant Bae

Sometimes I wish I had instant bae magic. Like, I could snap my fingers or wiggle my nose or I dream of genie nod. You know? I would use it instead of doing things like:
-succumbing to the petty desire of talking into my head phones, knowing no one is on the phone because an unwanted stranger isn’t satisfied with the simple greeting that I’m willing to exchange on my shopping trips

-Or when a guy won’t leave me alone after I’ve let him know I’m not interested and he asks, “what, your man won’t let you have a friend?” I’d use instant bae then, instead of tapping my home screen button and beginning to make a call saying to this presumptuous stranger “let me ask him”.

The stories can be funny after the fact, when I’m in a safe place. But it’s no joking matter in the midst of a moment with a strange (or sometimes somewhat familiar) man who doesn’t respect your space. The subject can get touchy and complex.
The truth of a body that falls victim to isms and benefits from privilege as well is not always well received. Often times, blame comes about, logic is thrown out and balance can’t be found.

He tried to push his way into your apartment, a stranger? Well you’re a very pretty girl. What do you expect? He was probably drunk.

He reached up your skirt and grabbed you? Why did you wear a skirt to the party?

He attacked you? What did you say to him?

He’s angry because he thinks you owe him? You were too nice. You led him on.

He’s being rude to you? You should have given him a chance.

They wouldn’t stop touching you? What did you wear?

We are many times taught to take blame for being disrespected and violated.
I truly enjoy the presence of a respectful Man on an outing; even the Peace I have knowing that people will often treat me with more respect. I know that his presence is more respected than my polite reply of “No thank you” or “I’m not interested”. And while I enjoy that added comfort and safety, I can’t help to wonder how this issue isn’t more widely recognized. How do we continue to allow and sometimes foster misogyny rather than teach mutual respect?