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Because I Love you

28 Jan

I wrote these “Words of Wisdom” with so much love. It is very personal as it was for my niece as she transitioned into college. Reading through it, I found it to be an encouraging reminder, so I decided to share. I’ve tweaked it only in the tiniest bit, removing very few things. I hope it offers you something positive and that you feel loved reading it.

Be purposeful, diligent, disciplined and dedicated. Do not be rigid.
Have fun!
Make the decisions that resonate with you and feel right within your spirit.
Make GOOD decisions. Make good decisions. Make. Good. Decisions. 🙂

You do not need to be flawless. If you make mistakes or a poor choice…a bad decision, it’s okay. The truth is that likely; one bad decision will not ruin your life or totally destroy your path. However, as humans we are creatures of habits, and making a pattern of bad habits/decisions will absolutely align you with tough consequences.

Make decisions of substance. If you are not sure about something, take the time to think, acknowledge how you feel and look at the situation completely before you choose.

Be objective.

Be balanced. Take time to sit still and quiet every day for at least 7 minutes. Try in the mornings. Try starting tomorrow.

Talk to God.

Eat something green and leafy every day. Greens, spinach, a salad.

Eat fresh fruit. Stay hydrated.

Keep a spirit of gratitude of in your heart, mind, and spirit. Even if it is the smallest thing, like you have a smoothie that taste really good. Say to yourself “This smoothie is SO good. Thank you.”

Speak positivity over your life every day. “I am so blessed. I am amazing. I am accomplished. I am purpose driven. I am successful.” Or “ Today REALLY sucked and I am very sad. But I am grateful for the ability, depth and understanding that I am gaining in being forced to navigate through this tough situation. Thank you”

What you say to and about yourself truly matters. Your attitude determines your latitude. And your level of gratitude largely determines your attitude. Look for the good, and you will find it. And because what you seek is seeking you, in keeping a positive attitude and finding the good in things, good things will find you.

Be confident. You are beautiful. Remember to look in the mirror and tell yourself that every day. Know that your beauty runs much deeper that your physical appearance.

Be true to yourself. Even if it’s weird.

Follow your dreams unapologetically.

Try new things. Keep a sense of openness.

Be organized. Create a pattern and schedule where you take care of business first. All of your other activities will be more enjoyable when you know you’re on top of things. Life will be clearer. You will accomplish more. All kinds of opportunities will come to you. You will help others to get on their stuff just by being on yours.

Make connections, not attachments.

Listen to us, because we love you and we do know somethings. But make your own decisions. Take the advice that is offered by the people you trust, weigh it, and do what is right for you.

“OMG I farted!”

11 Nov

#Onetime in 3rd grade, I sneezed SO hard that I farted even harder. I was sitting in a wooden desk so the sound was amplified! And so was the pain. The force that manifested itself in my little 8 year old body was so strong that it forced its way out of both ends. Probably bursting a hole in my little Lion King panties. The sneeze was so forceful that my throat and my booty hurt. Seriously. Smh.

To make it worse, a lot of people in my class had never even heard me speak. I was that quiet. They heard that fart though. I was so embarrassed. The class displayed mixed looks of shared mortification, overwhelming amusement, and disgusted shocked looks of “OMG you farted!” Some kids pointed at me saying “SONYA!?!” I lied like “that wasn’t MEEE! No it wasn’t!” #YouLieBlackGirlYouLie!

Fast forward many years later, one beautiful warm night ending an amazing outing with some of my best friends. We enjoyed the breeze, drinks, hookah, conversation, vacation, and the sunset on a fancy patio. Perfection! Suddenly, trying hookah for the first time was a “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad idea” and being in a chemically induced state turned into “Yall, I’m dying, my legs are noodles” My friend escorted me to the backseat of the car and sat with me saying sweetly “just breath slowly Sonya” The leg noodle effect rose, taking over my entire body and I couldn’t sit up straight. All of the expensive food I’d eaten before the lounge decided that my stomach was no longer a fit place to be. Magically he placed a bag in front of my face in perfect timing! And as I fell toward the door opposite him, no longer able to fight the projectile vomiting. . . I farted! Loudly, forcefully, on his leg. I was thinking “Oh no! I’m so gross right now. I’m throwing up and I just farted ON him!” I cried saying, “I farted on you” He said “I know. It’s okay” as he held my hair back and rubbed my head. Still embarrassing but I felt comforted.

I hope this is the end of the Fart Chronicles.

Night Terrors

19 Jun

My head fills with the thoughts I need to figure out

I try to sort through them and begin to fill with self doubt

My weaker brain buddies with my liner thoughts

My right brain says its too much lets cut off

Clear your head, go to bed

Logic remembers reality

You may not get reprieve or relief in your sleep

Night terrors lace and trace my dreams

Sleep patterns like the myriad

I don’t know how to get free

Don’t Try This At Home! “IDGAF”

9 Jan

It is Thursday, and this is a throwback.

Have some back ground info,

This short was done by my crazy close and talented friends Kandace T. (currently completing film school) and Devin T. (currently saving the world one Memphis street at a time).

Kandace called me early one morning and said something like “Bruh! get ready, we’re on the way. We’re shooting today!” I didn’t know who all “we” was but I agreed. Shortly after, the voices of Kandace, Devin, Jessica, and Aparecio filled my apartment. After hearing “Sonya hurry UP!” several times, we headed out.

The location was an old graffiti art filled warehouse. “Don’t Try This At Home!”  When we arrived and began to unload the equipment, Aparecio informed me that he was the STAR and I was just in the film with him. . . and that I was “old as hell”. He was hilarious with a great presence which shows through on film. We all laughed and joked the entire time. It was a really a cool experience.

“THERE YOU WERE

WITH ME AS WE

ASKED THE VOIDED QUESTION

TO WHICH THERE WAS NO REPLY

THERE YOU WERE

WITH ME ∞“

– Tagger at :49 sec

 

#StoryTime #LetMeShareMyPiece

 

 

HersheyChocolatePretzels

31 Dec

Yummy

Forgive me father for I have sinned

There are only crumbs in this pretzel tin

What WAS inside, it was so yummy and delicious

I devoured that snack, I know it wasn’t nutritious

And I ate them alone

Hardly shared with my friends

Please don’t let me get fat

I Love you

Amen

#LetMeShareMyPiece

“I’m so confused. You tried to trick me.”

4 Dec

We should just say what we feel.

Sometimes I understand without a word. But other times I don’t understand our unspoken conversation at all. The things that are said

through the pauses the furrowed brow, squinted eyes, the wrinkled noses, the sideways jaws, the balled up toes, the crunched up lips, the

clinching teeth. . . . the conversation beneath the words.

 

Sometimes I don’t speak that language.

 

Later, I look back and it clicks. Now, it’s all starting to make sense. There were words that I was thinking, wanted to, and should of shared

but didn’t. Maybe something’s are better left unsaid.

I Am Not The Bottom

1 Dec

I am not the bottom. Even though this is constantly reinforced to me through words, actions and such, it is not true. And even though the following may hold some truth, I am not, the bottom.

 

“You ain’t sh*t!”
“Do you really think that will work?”
“Aren’t you a bit old to start that?”
“You’ve been talking about that for a long time. It hasn’t happened yet!”
“I mean, being a black woman, this venture will be so much harder for you.”
“Being black, you will have to work twice as hard to get to the same place.”
“You know, that’s how they do black folks.”
“I don’t see that being as reasonable to pursue, maybe you should try something else.”
“The availability for somebody that looks like you in that type of field is very limited. Are you sure you want to do that?”

 

Commonly used words and phrases, widely accepted offensive beliefs, actions, societal ills – will sometimes put you down. They will try to make you the bottom. But unless you allow them to, they do not have that power. You are not the bottom.

 

What if someone who you feel should understand your circumstances, struggle, battle or movement, puts you down? First, do not let that make you second guess yourself. Understand that you should not internalize these things. Realize that so many negative things reinforced by the masses are not even what they really feel. It is conditioning. They have gotten into the bad habit of responding with negativity. Why? Some reasons are
– because they have been treated that way for so long that they have in some sense accepted it as thee “acceptable behavior” and perpetuate it, or,
– they feel that they are protecting you from failure by preventing you from trying/getting your hopes up only to feel broken or be met with the type of negativity, that they are already showing (makes no sense, I know) and so on.

 

Keep in mind that in many instances people are able to become an integral part of a system that works toward their own demise. They can grow so accustomed that they will fight to protect their place in, rights of, and growth of a system that is enabling widespread detriment of positivity. This is more reason to continue through positivity toward your weird, wild, crazy, vision of grandeur dreams. Make them real, because in that decision, in those actions, and through each small liberation you allow yourself, you show and allow others to do the same. Light bulbs will turn on above heads as you pass. Your life will be liberation. You will inspire the change that we need, including the doubters. They want to believe too. People many times are able to allow themselves to respect you more when they see your movement, work, and accomplishments.

 

It may be true that success in your pursuit is atypical and according to trend is not entirely likely or the norm. It may even be improbable but improbable is not impossible. You can accomplish things that are not the norm. Believing that you can is so important, and then apply stick-to-itiveness.
This is not to say, “ignore everybody that disagrees, you don’t need them, they hatin’” ya ya ya. NO. You do need people. We’re social creatures. The key is to find balance. Tune into that seeking. Listen, be rational, sort through it all, take what you need and leave the rest. Consider this, some opinions you hear now are only for this moment. People can be fickle. Growing people will change. Plus, you have a light they may not be able to see yet. Keep shining. Besides the only constant is change. Opinions are no exception. So carry on, continue your course of action. Keep at it, keep pushing, keep moving, keep shining, keep illuminating, keep inspiring, and keep liberating. Because you – are not the bottom.

Make up your own mind & let me make mine.

16 Sep

My opinion today may not be my opinion tomorrow. Or 20 minutes from now. I am a person. I am growing. This is a good thing. As circumstances change, so do I, as I should. I believe that sight of growth is promising whereas lack of growth can mean stagnation. That’s where a major problem comes in.

I ask that you not come looking for flawlessness, unduly judging and that you do not discredit because of mistakes.This is by no means a save face in any mistake blanket proposal. There are always exceptions. Accountability should be held. Everything is not relative. Some things are definite. (I hope you follow me.) And still, I stand with my belief.

It seems silly to me to make a permanent decision from a circumstantial detail. “I cannot believe she said that! I can’t go with anything she says now”

I hold strong to my convictions and my substance is in that strength.

“Be strong in your convictions but not so ridged in your stance that you are not open for deeper understanding of your beliefs and tolerance of others.”

 

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