Solynya

ALL lives are not being target and worked against in systematically oppressive & institutionalized manners. But, BLACK lives are. It doesn’t help you to allow yourself to ignore this. It isn’t an attack on you to bring much needed attention to an area of issue. To have this problem keeps us all from reaching our potential. You are not being attacked. But when you voice that you FEEL that way, you may be showing more of your position than you intended to.

-If you don’t understand this or if you feel upset by the idea,
-if you feel that this mal treatment doesn’t exist,
-if you use, not immediately making themselves meek and small, to victim blame,
-if you feel that it’s not possible that these systems exist,
-if you feel the need to defend yourself when you see this, you may be experiencing cognitive dissonance.

Do your due diligence and educate yourself. Take off your blinders. And this dissonance in time will leave you.

In the meantime, take a moment to acknowledge how uncomfortable you feel, that is possibly a very small fraction of how your comments through privileged of ignorance makes those of us who aren’t able to be so blissfully blind feel. If there were a properly composed intelligentsia geared toward positive progression, you wouldn’t be in it. #DoBetter #VibrateHigher

One thing I can’t stand is someone at the gym just trying to be seen. Almost as much as someone I don’t know taking a picture of me without asking. I usually workout in the fitness room alone when no class is in session. And it’s tough, no fluffy stuff. So sometimes guys come to the door and stand watching. It seems odd to me but I stay at it and ignore them. However, this one dude comes INTO the room and sits on the a bench I set up just inches away from me as I’m doing commandos… so I’m too winded to converse and I’m on a clock to finish all reps within 7 min. I don’t understand how he felt that wasn’t intrusive and rude. I don’t care if he was Andra Fuller sexy, (and he wasn’t) I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. Another guy comes into the room and stands in the mirror flexing and begins taking photos with me in the background….. Because that must not have been enough, he then begins recording a video of himself in the mirror hitting full lunges and flexing along the perimeter of the room. I’m in the background fighting through my workout. I just imagine him posting ig videos or snaps like “Me and bae in the gym” or “look at this bish in the background” 😤😡😬 what’s wrong with them!?! Is it crazy or is it me? If you see me any videos at the gym, tag me.

Now, okay, now sometimes, certain people can get away with this pet peeve of mine. I guess it all depends on your energy. However, IF I have asked you before, not to touch my hair, or I give you a stank face when you do OR you don’t know me. Do not touch my hair.

It’s like any other touch. Its not welcome unless its invited. How do you know its invited? If my body language says so, example,  I move toward you or give you the hand gesture to go ahead. If I literally invite you, “go ahead, you can touch it if you want” Or if you ask me and I say, yes, you can touch my hair. Besides those, keep your hands to yourself.

And EVEN if  you some how missed that it was intrusive, rude, invasive, WHAT about the texture of my hair would give you the idea that running your fingers through it would be acceptable!? NO! It’s really a bit weird and even worse if its wet…WHY would you even desire to touch it?

“Is your hair wet!? OMG *reaches to touch*” *gets smacked* “YES, it is.” Why would that make you want to touch it? Then your hands will be wet, and possibly sticky or whatever depending on what products are in my hair AND the fact that you still want to touch it, says to me that your hygiene may not be the best…. Regardless, I do not want your hands in my wet hair!!! It feels like a magnet for all the germs in your hand that I will now be carrying atop my hair like the whos in whoviille on a speck of dust on my big afro dandelion.

So basically, don’t touch. My big natural hair does not mean that it is an open invitation to touch it. Or make rude comments either. Yes my hair is big, yes I did do my hair today, yes I am black, thank you for letting me know that it looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket,  No that does not make personal space an exception when it comes to touching. Why would it?!

We should just say what we feel.

Sometimes I understand without a word. But other times I don’t understand our unspoken conversation at all. The things that are said

through the pauses the furrowed brow, squinted eyes, the wrinkled noses, the sideways jaws, the balled up toes, the crunched up lips, the

clinching teeth. . . . the conversation beneath the words.

Sometimes I don’t speak that language.

Later, I look back and it clicks. Now, it’s all starting to make sense. There were words that I was thinking, wanted to, and should of shared

but didn’t. Maybe something’s are better left unsaid.

Onetime I composed a three page text message venting my frustrations to one friend about another particular person. Then, I

accidentally sent it to that particular person. Yes, I did. I guess after texting that person’s name several times within the vent, that when I

clicked the “enter recipient” box, I typed their name.

After I sent it to them I realized what I had done. Initially for about 2 seconds I was like “OMG” that was the wrong person! Then I was like

“Oh well! Good! That’s what I needed to tell them anyways! Now I don’t have to take way more time and energy to make sure it doesn’t

sound mean.” It didn’t turn out to be a big fuss. I guess it all needed to be said and recognized anyways.

#Onetime