Solynya

One thing I can’t stand is someone at the gym just trying to be seen. Almost as much as someone I don’t know taking a picture of me without asking. I usually workout in the fitness room alone when no class is in session. And it’s tough, no fluffy stuff. So sometimes guys come to the door and stand watching. It seems odd to me but I stay at it and ignore them. However, this one dude comes INTO the room and sits on the a bench I set up just inches away from me as I’m doing commandos… so I’m too winded to converse and I’m on a clock to finish all reps within 7 min. I don’t understand how he felt that wasn’t intrusive and rude. I don’t care if he was Andra Fuller sexy, (and he wasn’t) I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. Another guy comes into the room and stands in the mirror flexing and begins taking photos with me in the background….. Because that must not have been enough, he then begins recording a video of himself in the mirror hitting full lunges and flexing along the perimeter of the room. I’m in the background fighting through my workout. I just imagine him posting ig videos or snaps like “Me and bae in the gym” or “look at this bish in the background” 😤😡😬 what’s wrong with them!?! Is it crazy or is it me? If you see me any videos at the gym, tag me.

I wrote these “Words of Wisdom” with so much love. It is very personal as it was for my niece as she transitioned into college. Reading through it, I found it to be an encouraging reminder, so I decided to share. I’ve tweaked it only in the tiniest bit, removing very few things. I hope it offers you something positive and that you feel loved reading it.

Be purposeful, diligent, disciplined and dedicated. Do not be rigid.
Have fun!
Make the decisions that resonate with you and feel right within your spirit.
Make GOOD decisions. Make good decisions. Make. Good. Decisions. 🙂

You do not need to be flawless. If you make mistakes or a poor choice…a bad decision, it’s okay. The truth is that likely; one bad decision will not ruin your life or totally destroy your path. However, as humans we are creatures of habits, and making a pattern of bad habits/decisions will absolutely align you with tough consequences.

Make decisions of substance. If you are not sure about something, take the time to think, acknowledge how you feel and look at the situation completely before you choose.

Be objective.

Be balanced. Take time to sit still and quiet every day for at least 7 minutes. Try in the mornings. Try starting tomorrow.

Talk to God.

Eat something green and leafy every day. Greens, spinach, a salad.

Eat fresh fruit. Stay hydrated.

Keep a spirit of gratitude of in your heart, mind, and spirit. Even if it is the smallest thing, like you have a smoothie that taste really good. Say to yourself “This smoothie is SO good. Thank you.”

Speak positivity over your life every day. “I am so blessed. I am amazing. I am accomplished. I am purpose driven. I am successful.” Or “ Today REALLY sucked and I am very sad. But I am grateful for the ability, depth and understanding that I am gaining in being forced to navigate through this tough situation. Thank you”

What you say to and about yourself truly matters. Your attitude determines your latitude. And your level of gratitude largely determines your attitude. Look for the good, and you will find it. And because what you seek is seeking you, in keeping a positive attitude and finding the good in things, good things will find you.

Be confident. You are beautiful. Remember to look in the mirror and tell yourself that every day. Know that your beauty runs much deeper that your physical appearance.

Be true to yourself. Even if it’s weird.

Follow your dreams unapologetically.

Try new things. Keep a sense of openness.

Be organized. Create a pattern and schedule where you take care of business first. All of your other activities will be more enjoyable when you know you’re on top of things. Life will be clearer. You will accomplish more. All kinds of opportunities will come to you. You will help others to get on their stuff just by being on yours.

Make connections, not attachments.

Listen to us, because we love you and we do know somethings. But make your own decisions. Take the advice that is offered by the people you trust, weigh it, and do what is right for you.

I do my best to live my life with a holistic approach.
I do my best to maintain balance.
I do my best to view the obstacles I encounter as the stepping stones they are:
An offering of opportunity to grow stronger and gain strength and depth,
A way to be better prepared to evolve, to excel,
A way to be sure my steps are properly ordered in a purposeful path,
A way to tap into my power…

I also do my VERY best to keep the crust off of my heels… Literally. That is not a metaphor. I mean, I really do.
Let me help you with what I’ve found.

One summer day my Mom came by to visit me. We were going to hang for a few hours. When I put my sandals on, it was as if I suddenly noticed an ashiness on my feet no lotion could moisturize. She insisted that I keep my dainty shoes on instead of covered ones because they were cute, and the ash wasn’t that bad (Mom Love niceness). So I did. We walked into our first stop, to pick up my detox bath salt. She ventured over to the body butter table and started to smell the products. She’s not big on scents so I was surprised when she said “Oh! Pineapple! This one smells so good! And my hands are SO soft. Sonya, come put some of this on your feet!” across the store in full Mother fashion of course.
I was hesitant, not being big on “butters” but I tried it. Like many other instances, Mom was right. The smell was fresh and sweet, natural and rich but not overbearing. I rubbed a little in my hands and on my heels. Amazingly, some kind of miracle happened. The dryness that the expensive Dr. Scholl’s ultra-foot cream and every other lotion in my house couldn’t soften was moisturized! I bought one, Coconut Milk scent because Pineapple was sold out.

We headed on our way smelling like fresh tropical fruit, bouncing on soft feet. By the time we made it to lunch, I looked down at my heels as I stepped out of the car, Yall, not one ashy indention was visible! My feet hadn’t been covered with socks; they were open in summer sandals. But this Body butter worked like no other. I knew then. “I gotta tell everyone about this!” The Bubble Bistro (local if you’re in Memphis or N.O.) is FYE! The butter has replaced my body lotion and it is love! It’s part of the reason my hugs are usually followed by “Mmmm *leans in again* you smell so good! Mmmm”

If you’ve wanted to keep your feet sweet or get rid of dents and cracks… get some. Make it even sweeter with a “Mr. Pumice Pumi Bar” and “CeraVe” Foaming Facial Cleanser. These are a few of my favorite products that I use every day. Any time you wear shoes that rub off or encounter dirt that is stubborn on your feet, just a squirt of this soap on your scrub bar will take it all away. Moisturize with body butter, and soothing foot massage. Life will just feel good.

Don’t neglect your feet please. Talk to them, love on them, and take a little time with them. It can help to relax you entirely. Don’t be “too busy” for it. If you don’t have time, make time. The tasks you must carry out require your mind, body, and spirit. Your body is your gift and your tool. A positive contribution to one part of you can be good for all parts of you. To neglect one part is, well, … just love on your feet too, okay?

Take a deep breath in, make it slow and controlled, then slowly breathe out. Relax your toes, relax your shoulders, and relax your face.

From your soles to you soul, your crown to your aura, make your Body and Spirit a priority. Take care of yourself.

Oh my goodness Adventure River!

Three crazy things happened to me here.

1. My Auntie always told me that she nearly killed me in the tube circle as a baby. It was because I fell out / off the side of the inner tube and, I was way too fat to pull back in. I was a HUGE baby. She said that it was a very serious life threating matter. As she held on to me for dear life, nearing total fatigue and experiencing exhaustion, my Mom wouldn’t get me out. She couldn’t stop laughing. You should know, that my aunt cussed SO well! I mean eloquently and with precision. So it was probably hilarious. I lived. But just barely.

2. At about 7 years old, we went as a big family group. I was in the wave pool. The huge wave it takes a while to build came. I saw it approaching and was super excited! When it hit me, all I knew was that, I didn’t know anything at all. I was lost.
As everyone surfaced from being submerged, laughing and probably hand slapping or something, saying how much fun that was, they eventually realized they didn’t see me. “Sonya wasn’t that fun?!?” *ensuing joyous sun basked laughter* “Sonya?… Sonya?! OMG where’s Sonya?!” My family was frantic. I could hear them but I didn’t know where I was either! Every sound had become muffled as if they were all speaking through paper towel rolls. Suddenly I felt myself being flipped over. Wide eyed and confused with a half-smile still placed as the thinning water ran down my face. I had been upside down and somehow remained properly placed in the inner tube, my little hands still tightly gripping the plastic handles. “Sonya! Are you okay?!” Meanwhile I’m still smiling. “Sonya!” *they turn to the others* “She’s confused. She doesn’t know what’s happening. Sonya, can you breathe?” My sister Erica runs up and says “Sonya, you were upside down the entire time. Under water! We were looking for you!”

3. When I was 8 or 9 I went back to the water park with Erica and her cool friends. She took me everywhere and looked out for me. We were so excited. I was finally old enough to slide on the biggest, fastest slide. When we got to the top the attendant kept telling me, “Do not sit up until you’re at the very bottom” I assured him that I understood and took the plunge. It was crazy fast and it seemed like it was going on forever. I kept thinking “is it time to sit up now? It’s probably time to sit up. I’m probably waiting too long.” When I got to the straight flat part of the slide, I sat up. I heard my sister, the attendants at the top and bottom of the slide and bystanders yelling “No! NO! Nooo!” I was so confused. My sister and the AR worker ran over to me yelling “Are you Okay?!” I was looking at them wondering what they were talking about and they kept fussing “Why did you do that!?” Erica told me “you were going SO fast! You sat up way too soon! Does your booty hurt?” She pulled me up and I knew something was not right. She leaned me forward to make sure my butt wasn’t scraped up. “Pull your swim suit out of your butt!” I tried and I honestly couldn’t. The force of the water had given me a full on kiddie thong. The attendant was saying how he knew 8/9 year olds were still too little for this slide. “I knew we shouldn’t be letting little kids get on here! She’s probably not even 8!” My sister was getting visibly nervous trying to remove this wedgie before we left the slide area. She struggled but we got it out.
I think that was my last visit to Adventure River. But, if they came back to Memphis, I might go again. I still love water parks. Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon brought an adventure of its own…. but that’s another story.

 

I have been tested so many times in these past few weeks. From things as shallow as snarky comments to true disrespect from people I don’t know well at all to those who are actually connected to me in some way. While it is very irritating, it seems as if for every bit of craziness, I have been graced with so much refreshing and positive energy.
One morning, the day became so stressful before I even left the house for work. Frustrated with duties and things that popped up suddenly, demanding immediate attention, I felt like I was melting. After having a mini breakdown, gathering myself, and handling everything at hand, I felt drained, before 9 a.m…. The light and vibration of my phone pulled my attention from my thoughts of “OMG Sonya get your sh*t together!” The message, sending positive vibes and wishing me peace and positivity for the day was in perfect timing. They knew nothing of the situation I was handling.
Just when I was kind of feeling like, “life, are you trying to show me I’m not doing it right?” I realized, or remembered rather, that the universe is not working against me. Yes, even on those “try me” days when I feel as if there is a sign on my forehead that says something like “give me your BEST shot. Come on! Be as rude as you can!” We have the power to will things that we desire into our lives, and there are keys to assist or usher them in, primarily, gratitude.
“Your attitude determines your latitude.” And your level of gratitude largely determines your attitude. Look for the good, and you will find it. And because what you seek is seeking you, in keeping a positive attitude and finding the good in things, good things will find you.
Knowing this, I don’t say I’m chasing money or chasing dreams because, I’m not. Those things are not running away from me. I don’t have to chase them. The truth is that, what you seek is seeking you. We have to tune into that seeking and know what it is that we are looking for. Learn how to be quiet. Make yourself of meditation jar. Be mindful.

Understand and identify what the desires of your heart are and if they are purposeful.
Check your attitude. Check your ego. Check the language you use with yourself (your self-talk). Make it good because you deserve it. Check the disrespect (through your mindfulness of course). Commit to keeping a gratitude journal every day for 30 days. I believe that you will be pleased with the changes that come about. Tap into your power and, don’t chase, attract.

#Onetime in 3^rd grade, I sneezed SO hard that I farted even harder. I was sitting in a wooden desk so the sound was amplified! And so was the pain. The force that manifested itself in my little 8 year old body was so strong that it forced its way out of both ends. Probably bursting a hole in my little Lion King panties. The sneeze was so forceful that my throat and my booty hurt. Seriously. Smh.

To make it worse, a lot of people in my class had never even heard me speak. I was that quiet. They heard that fart though. I was so embarrassed. The class displayed mixed looks of shared mortification, overwhelming amusement, and disgusted shocked looks of “OMG you farted!” Some kids pointed at me saying “SONYA!?!” I lied like “that wasn’t MEEE! No it wasn’t!” #YouLieBlackGirlYouLie!

Fast forward many years later, one beautiful warm night ending an amazing outing with some of my best friends. We enjoyed the breeze, drinks, hookah, conversation, vacation, and the sunset on a fancy patio. Perfection! Suddenly, trying hookah for the first time was a “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad idea” and being in a chemically induced state turned into “Yall, I’m dying, my legs are noodles” My friend escorted me to the backseat of the car and sat with me saying sweetly “just breath slowly Sonya” The leg noodle effect rose, taking over my entire body and I couldn’t sit up straight. All of the expensive food I’d eaten before the lounge decided that my stomach was no longer a fit place to be. Magically he placed a bag in front of my face in perfect timing! And as I fell toward the door opposite him, no longer able to fight the projectile vomiting. . . I farted! Loudly, forcefully, on his leg. I was thinking “Oh no! I’m so gross right now. I’m throwing up and I just farted ON him!” I cried saying, “I farted on you” He said “I know. It’s okay” as he held my hair back and rubbed my head. Still embarrassing but I felt comforted.

I hope this is the end of the Fart Chronicles.

“I’m an adult” is an actual phrase that I am called to use regularly.

Customers at my job who don’t know my name refer to me as “Baby girl!” or often say “That pretty girl helped me”

Some days I feel as if my name is “Sweetie” or “Hey cutie pie!” because that is the only way that I am addressed. Even by people that I KNOW are younger than me.

When I was a teenager, the teenage boys didn’t give much notice. Now, they are all over me in the mall. . . and adult women too. . . but that’s another blog post entirely.

I am asked “Are you old enough to work here” and “baby, what grade are you in?!”

Me: “I’m not in school”

Kind stranger: “Oh! What college are you going to?”

Me: . . . “I’m done with school”

Kind stranger: “You not gone finish!?”

Me: *slaps forehead* “I graduated.”

Children stare at me and finally ask with tilted heads “are you a grown up” I answer “Yes” they respond “You don’t LOOK like a grown up” *raises brows in anticipation of an explanation*

The bouncers insist on ID! My friends yell back from inside the event “Sonya! What’s taking you so long!?” I answer “The bouncers wont let me in. I can’t find my license” Three people walk up and they are admitted with NO ID. One of which I know personally and is younger than me. My jaw drops as I shrug my shoulders in question as I explain “I’m older than him, where is his ID?”. The bouncer says kindly to me, “Baby, you look like you could really be 18. I’m not taking that chance”

But I know, it’s a blessing and I will appreciate it when I’m older. Except I am older. 🙂
So praises due. Thank you God.

My head fills with the thoughts I need to figure out

I try to sort through them and begin to fill with self doubt

My weaker brain buddies with my liner thoughts

My right brain says its too much lets cut off

Clear your head, go to bed

Logic remembers reality

You may not get reprieve or relief in your sleep

Night terrors lace and trace my dreams

Sleep patterns like the myriad

I don’t know how to get free

It is Thursday, and this is a throwback.

Have some back ground info,

This short was done by my crazy close and talented friends Kandace T. (currently completing film school) and Devin T. (currently saving the world one Memphis street at a time).

Kandace called me early one morning and said something like “Bruh! get ready, we’re on the way. We’re shooting today!” I didn’t know who all “we” was but I agreed. Shortly after, the voices of Kandace, Devin, Jessica, and Aparecio filled my apartment. After hearing “Sonya hurry UP!” several times, we headed out.

The location was an old graffiti art filled warehouse. “Don’t Try This At Home!”  When we arrived and began to unload the equipment, Aparecio informed me that he was the STAR and I was just in the film with him. . . and that I was “old as hell”. He was hilarious with a great presence which shows through on film. We all laughed and joked the entire time. It was a really a cool experience.

“THERE YOU WERE

WITH ME AS WE

ASKED THE VOIDED QUESTION

TO WHICH THERE WAS NO REPLY

THERE YOU WERE

WITH ME ∞“

– Tagger at :49 sec

#StoryTime #LetMeShareMyPiece

This is one of my favorite videos. The entire thing is so beautiful. Can yall believe these are “Plus Size” models??!!??

I guess I’m plus sized too then.

Or double plus size.

#Thatisall #Welldone #Beautiful#BeautifullyDone #ListenUP #MyFavoriteThings