31 Dec
Forgive me father for I have sinned
There are only crumbs in this pretzel tin
What WAS inside, it was so yummy and delicious
I devoured that snack, I know it wasn’t nutritious
And I ate them alone
Hardly shared with my friends
Please don’t let me get fat
I Love you
Amen
#LetMeShareMyPiece
6 Dec
Now, okay, now sometimes, certain people can get away with this pet peeve of mine. I guess it all depends on your energy. However, IF I have asked you before, not to touch my hair, or I give you a stank face when you do OR you don’t know me. Do not touch my hair.
It’s like any other touch. Its not welcome unless its invited. How do you know its invited? If my body language says so, example, I move toward you or give you the hand gesture to go ahead. If I literally invite you, “go ahead, you can touch it if you want” Or if you ask me and I say, yes, you can touch my hair. Besides those, keep your hands to yourself.
And EVEN if you some how missed that it was intrusive, rude, invasive, WHAT about the texture of my hair would give you the idea that running your fingers through it would be acceptable!? NO! It’s really a bit weird and even worse if its wet…WHY would you even desire to touch it?
“Is your hair wet!? OMG *reaches to touch*” *gets smacked* “YES, it is.” Why would that make you want to touch it? Then your hands will be wet, and possibly sticky or whatever depending on what products are in my hair AND the fact that you still want to touch it, says to me that your hygiene may not be the best…. Regardless, I do not want your hands in my wet hair!!! It feels like a magnet for all the germs in your hand that I will now be carrying atop my hair like the whos in whoviille on a speck of dust on my big afro dandelion.
So basically, don’t touch. My big natural hair does not mean that it is an open invitation to touch it. Or make rude comments either. Yes my hair is big, yes I did do my hair today, yes I am black, thank you for letting me know that it looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket, No that does not make personal space an exception when it comes to touching. Why would it?!
4 Dec
We should just say what we feel.
Sometimes I understand without a word. But other times I don’t understand our unspoken conversation at all. The things that are said
through the pauses the furrowed brow, squinted eyes, the wrinkled noses, the sideways jaws, the balled up toes, the crunched up lips, the
clinching teeth. . . . the conversation beneath the words.
Sometimes I don’t speak that language.
Later, I look back and it clicks. Now, it’s all starting to make sense. There were words that I was thinking, wanted to, and should of shared
but didn’t. Maybe something’s are better left unsaid.
2 Dec
Onetime I composed a three page text message venting my frustrations to one friend about another particular person. Then, I
accidentally sent it to that particular person. Yes, I did. I guess after texting that person’s name several times within the vent, that when I
clicked the “enter recipient” box, I typed their name.
After I sent it to them I realized what I had done. Initially for about 2 seconds I was like “OMG” that was the wrong person! Then I was like
“Oh well! Good! That’s what I needed to tell them anyways! Now I don’t have to take way more time and energy to make sure it doesn’t
sound mean.” It didn’t turn out to be a big fuss. I guess it all needed to be said and recognized anyways.
#Onetime
1 Dec
I am not the bottom. Even though this is constantly reinforced to me through words, actions and such, it is not true. And even though the following may hold some truth, I am not, the bottom.
“You ain’t sh*t!”
“Do you really think that will work?”
“Aren’t you a bit old to start that?”
“You’ve been talking about that for a long time. It hasn’t happened yet!”
“I mean, being a black woman, this venture will be so much harder for you.”
“Being black, you will have to work twice as hard to get to the same place.”
“You know, that’s how they do black folks.”
“I don’t see that being as reasonable to pursue, maybe you should try something else.”
“The availability for somebody that looks like you in that type of field is very limited. Are you sure you want to do that?”
Commonly used words and phrases, widely accepted offensive beliefs, actions, societal ills – will sometimes put you down. They will try to make you the bottom. But unless you allow them to, they do not have that power. You are not the bottom.
What if someone who you feel should understand your circumstances, struggle, battle or movement, puts you down? First, do not let that make you second guess yourself. Understand that you should not internalize these things. Realize that so many negative things reinforced by the masses are not even what they really feel. It is conditioning. They have gotten into the bad habit of responding with negativity. Why? Some reasons are
– because they have been treated that way for so long that they have in some sense accepted it as thee “acceptable behavior” and perpetuate it, or,
– they feel that they are protecting you from failure by preventing you from trying/getting your hopes up only to feel broken or be met with the type of negativity, that they are already showing (makes no sense, I know) and so on.
Keep in mind that in many instances people are able to become an integral part of a system that works toward their own demise. They can grow so accustomed that they will fight to protect their place in, rights of, and growth of a system that is enabling widespread detriment of positivity. This is more reason to continue through positivity toward your weird, wild, crazy, vision of grandeur dreams. Make them real, because in that decision, in those actions, and through each small liberation you allow yourself, you show and allow others to do the same. Light bulbs will turn on above heads as you pass. Your life will be liberation. You will inspire the change that we need, including the doubters. They want to believe too. People many times are able to allow themselves to respect you more when they see your movement, work, and accomplishments.
It may be true that success in your pursuit is atypical and according to trend is not entirely likely or the norm. It may even be improbable but improbable is not impossible. You can accomplish things that are not the norm. Believing that you can is so important, and then apply stick-to-itiveness.
This is not to say, “ignore everybody that disagrees, you don’t need them, they hatin’” ya ya ya. NO. You do need people. We’re social creatures. The key is to find balance. Tune into that seeking. Listen, be rational, sort through it all, take what you need and leave the rest. Consider this, some opinions you hear now are only for this moment. People can be fickle. Growing people will change. Plus, you have a light they may not be able to see yet. Keep shining. Besides the only constant is change. Opinions are no exception. So carry on, continue your course of action. Keep at it, keep pushing, keep moving, keep shining, keep illuminating, keep inspiring, and keep liberating. Because you – are not the bottom.
16 Sep
My opinion today may not be my opinion tomorrow. Or 20 minutes from now. I am a person. I am growing. This is a good thing. As circumstances change, so do I, as I should. I believe that sight of growth is promising whereas lack of growth can mean stagnation. That’s where a major problem comes in.
I ask that you not come looking for flawlessness, unduly judging and that you do not discredit because of mistakes.This is by no means a save face in any mistake blanket proposal. There are always exceptions. Accountability should be held. Everything is not relative. Some things are definite. (I hope you follow me.) And still, I stand with my belief.
It seems silly to me to make a permanent decision from a circumstantial detail. “I cannot believe she said that! I can’t go with anything she says now”
I hold strong to my convictions and my substance is in that strength.
“Be strong in your convictions but not so ridged in your stance that you are not open for deeper understanding of your beliefs and tolerance of others.”
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